Amber's Shoes

Today You left your shoes in my room And I don't mind Cos its like you've moved in Like you're slowly infiltrating every part of my life Cos you don't want me to be on my own anymore Cos you've been there before. And its just black patent leather on a wrecked dorm room floor but You left your shoes In my room. If you're looking for a way into my heart sweetheart don't worry Your feet are already firmly under the table If you missed the presentation these are my notes for you, spoiler alert, they're love notes, I'm telling you – you're the best thing to happen since superglue – I can't live without you, Cos you make me smile. And I know you know how to do that because its hard for you too So pull up a chair, relax friend, rest. And maybe lets talk a while. Maybe lets leave trinkets in each others homes And words trailing behind us like ribbons So you can bind your hands with my love when you can't find any other way to stop yourself attacking yourself anymore Cos I can't be there all the time for you – As much as I want to. All I can do is to pester you Did you eat, sleep, breathe, repeat, did you live today? Did you laugh today? Cos if you need me say so, I'll find a way I'll be there in ten I'd even run if I had to. In heels. In the rain. The 3.8 miles to your house. I only have one pair of shoes, so I'm going to keep mine And hope this poem will act in their stead Instead of physical possessions I want you to hold this poem in your hands Take it apart and compare it to your perception of reality and get mad at me because you know that I know you don't see, in you, what I see. Take it anyway. Because I don't want you to feel alone ever again Not once in a while or every now and then I want you to wake up pissed off that I interrupted your dreams to remind you that you're important. I want you to be brushing your teeth and laugh at a joke I told you months ago until toothpaste ruins your Garfield pyjamas. I want you to one day realise that you haven't had to buy a new packet of travel-sized tissues in months, because whenever you cry you've had my shoulder to do it on. Even if that means you ruin my shirts. I want you to smile. Because you've got a friend who knows you well enough to sense when you're in pain, who wants to make it go away, even if they can't. Someone who just wants to help you get by. To survive. To open your eyes to the army by your side. And if you can't, I'll still try. Cos I don't want you to think you're on your own anymore – you know what I mean? I guess you do, Cos you left me your shoes And it made me smile.
-- Kathryn O'Driscoll

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